The Time Of My Life

I’ve been waiting for my dreams

To turn into something I could believe in

And looking for that Magic rainbow

On the horizon I couldn’t see it

Until I let go

Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn

Now I’m coming alive

Body and soul

And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud I know this is the time,

This is the time

To be more than a name

Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished

Into the air

Left me in pieces

But now I’m rising from the ashes

Finding my wings

And all that I needed Was there all along

Within my reach As close as the beat of my heart

So I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud I know this is the time,

This is the time to be More than a name

Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever

Ready to run I’m keeping my feet on the ground

My arms open wide My face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd This is the time

This is the time of my life.

This is the time of my life

Feelings...are an abstract that some of time makes us loose control of ourselves.

Everything seems to be flowing and no longer a blockage in life. There is a past that I dare not turn back to look at. Life is best to let it auto run at times then controlling it when you are uncertain is hard. Control and getting it your way at times is so hard and brutal.
Release and let go for a while...then with peace you will find your way back on the track.

The bottom line to everything is as long as you are happy. No matter how a person perceived you as, you should be aware of who you are and what you are. There are people who make you feel lost, make you need to find yourself. But there are those too who makes you see everything seems certain and makes it from wrong to right. Making you to see that life is not all about suffering and misery after all. That will be the person I am awaiting for.

It is indeed a challenge but you need to know what it is....what it is that you want. Then you have a direction to move forward. At times, things are not as simple as you just want it to be but never drag yourself in that mud but pull yourself up and walk through it.
Walking away makes it relieve and another big step you have make to getting where you want.
Time will make you strong and to know all the right things to do and say. As long as you are real and happy, any other thing doesn't matter anymore.


He who love you dearly, will cry when you cry,
Will be hurt when you are hurt,
Darkness will turn to light
That's when you laugh and he would laugh
When you love and he would love you back

Boston

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone
Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red
And tears are shed

The world you must have crossed
You said You don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeahYeah

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you

You saidYou don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
She said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains

Oh yeahShe said I think
I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of a sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice

Oh yeah Boston
No one knows my name
Yeah No one knows my name
No one knows my name

Yeah Boston
No one knows my name

Teardrops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything
that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

Chorus
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

Repeat Chorus
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

Moving on...

Sleeping beauty has awoken from the bitter sweet dream.

I was wrong to have the very thought and hope that we can still be together. Things have changed, moments have changed and people move on. The guy that once loves me has changed and moves on. It will remain as the bitter sweet memories that I once have. The fairy tale has ended when the words was uttered from his mouth to you that "you need to move on cause I have move on". Welcome back to the reality to start picking up your pace and start your path with the whole new beginning.

It felt as though one part of the person has die off and the world that you once dream with him has shattered like glass to the ground. It has been hard fall to the dirt ground and we should have self dignity to pull our self up and not let people look down on you anymore.

It is a long and winding road in front but brave yourself through and the day of glory will soon be reflecting in your heart and soul.


"It Ends Tonight"
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.

And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathin
gMy mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

A weight is liftedOn this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight, It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,It ends When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,It ends tonight.

Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fightIt ends tonight,It ends tonight.

TonightInsight When darkness turns to light,It ends tonight

Nightmare Reflecting Reality

This morning I woke up to a nightmare which was so real and brutal to my heart.
It all started with me and my friend taking a taxi to a hilltop Japanese restaurant. As I arrived, I was in the urge to look for a washroom. The taxi driver was kind enough to tell me that the washroom is quite a distance and can send me over. My friend went into the restaurant and I accepted the ride to the washroom.

As we are going up and up the hill, I was feeling kind of weird why the Loo is so far away. As I start to realize that it is not right, I decided to get myself off the ride. The taxi driver notices my action and immediately ran after me. He was trying to rape me. I manage to free myself as I run for my life. At that moment, I call up to the one I know he would be there to care for me. He picked up the first time and he was mumbling and wasn't sure what I was saying. The reception was bad and the line got cut off. I tried to call again...it was not able to be contactable as the phone is off. It was that very moment I felt I was no longer care of and is all up to me to save myself.

I managed to get myself home and my families were there for me. I am still as stubborn as ever so I picked up the phone to call and it didn't go thru at all. At that very moment, my heart just shattered is like a knife shaft in it and the door slap in front of my face. I cry myself out again and again...

I woke up by that time. I sat there for a while to think and even my dream is telling me he doesn't care anymore, why are you still so stubborn to hold on. I seriously need to get a life and stop this day dreaming. The dream was really so real as if it was a reality.

You'll Think of Me

I woke up this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlighs on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
i've been trying my best to get along
but thats okay there's nothing left to say but

CHORUS
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I dont need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

(Repeat chorus)

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

(Repeat chorus twice)

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

The Breakup because is Broken

I am not sure I am in the wise mind to say this but I guess this is the breakup that cannot be mend anymore. People have move on without you, you should not stop and be a pile of rubbish.
He has move on and leave behind you this very pile of rubbish.

I will need all the support and help to pick the pieces that has been shattered to the ground up and walk away again. Yes, is again. How many times do you want this heart to be shattered? Forever? That is what he claim as love you? Once, twice, thrice and the forth time...how many times to go and how many years to go? Another decade to tell you such thngs again?

You have hurt yourself enough and start to love yourself now. Remember you have tried your very best to keep this relationship and he has given up on you and why are you still so stubborn to stay? You are such a loser worst than the dirt on the ground.

Stand up and get on with your life. Give yourself a fresh start, do what you really wanted and go on with life...there are so many in life which is beautiful. There are so many doors open...give a chance for yourself to understand and know better.

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and
I'm alone
Still HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that
I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowingWhat could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to doOoohhh....

Explain it to My Heart

I understand there's no future for us here
Guess I fooled myself into thinking there was
Now you've make it clear
I'll never be right, guess we knew it all along.
Now we've got to say good-bye and I've got to be strong
So tell me one more time how it's better for the both of us
Tell me one more time how we'll hurt each other if we stay
Tell me one more time the darling there's just one more thing
Before you walk away

CHORUS
Explain it to my heart It's better that we're over now
Tell me one more time this is the way that it's suppose to be
Tell me that I'm better off without you
How it's better to forget about you
Darling I understand
Now won't you please explain it to my heart
Now if I try I can see the reasons why
Why we can't stay together and I might convince my mind
But it's breaking my heart to know I've got to let you go
To find that I must leave behind the only love I've known
Well I can tell myself that I never really needed you
I can tell myself that it's better just to say good-bye
I can tell myself a thousand lies
But tell me now
Tell me how do I

CHORUS
Explain it to my heart It's better that we're over now
Tell me one more time this is the way that it's suppose to be
Tell me that I'm better off without you
How it's better to forget about you Darling I understand
Now won't you please explain it to my heart
Say that I'll be betterIf we don't stay together
Say that I'll be better off freeBut don't say it to me

Explain it to my heart
Tell me that I'm better off without you
How it's better to forget about you Darling I understand
Now won't you please explain it to my heart
It's better that we're over now
Tell me one more time this is the way that it's suppose to be
Tell me that I'm better off without you
How it's better to forget about you Darling I understand
Now won't you please explain it to my heart

Let Go

I notice that all my post don't have a title, I think is time I put in a title and begining my new journey of life with a direction. Is all on me now...you have to stand up and walk this strongly.

I have cried, being drunk, breakdown.....
The rain just drop by and is not turning to sunny....I need to continue to be chirpy and run away from the rain.

I cannot decline that I am still very fragile but at least I know deep down I need to be strong. Not to let those who really love me down, seeing me hurt...they are hurt and worry too...so be strong and move on....

Once bitten, twice shy
Twice bitten, never try…
Try after try that is why you cry.

I never thought I would have doubt
But now in silence it speaks so loud
Days, months, years and decade
Thought the love we had would never decay

We were once so strong to battle what is in front
Now you have decided to give up and run
And I have been left to crump
Like the pieces of dump

I beg, I stay and I hope
But that is not the road
That together we can grow

Let go of the rock in your heart
So that you won't break people's heart...

Finally I get the whole picture...the thing that drag the both of us.

I am not sure if what you have now is a crush or really a love. I know very well what I have for you is love. I have been loving you for the decade and I will still love you whole heartedly. I would be sad and not satisfied in away to throw away a relationship that went thru so many layer of life. But I guess when it all happen, it just happen. No matter how long you love a person, it will just change.

I wanted to cry but I think I have done that. Deep down I wanted you badly to stay with me and really grow old together. But I would one that person to love me whole heartedly. If I am not going to have that, I would rather let go and be hurt now. I don't mind to drag, suffer or sacrifice anything if I could only be love in return. I am not sure what I ask for is something huge or small.

If we get thru this, it will be a big success...if not then we will have the most wonderful decade together as the sweet memories I shall carry to the bed of roses. Even though I went thru this day hurt, sad, dissapointed but if I get to wind back the clock...I will still choose this road on. At least I know what is true love and what is it like to go through the thick and thin.

I love you and hope you will be there for me...as a friend or a lover.
I will be there for you till the day I die no matter as a friend or a lover, you have my words to count on.

Thanks for being true to me and I really appreciate and cherish it. It takes a huge courage to pour all this out. Thanks for everything...miss you.

Wedding bell that might turn into shattered bell



How should I go on? Love myself more...how...but hurting myself to let go now and find some other people who love me better?



How to be sure about that, then how to be sure if I give him the chance he would remain loyal to me? It happen so many times.....I thank him for sharing the truth but I guess the truth hurts...



I am not sure if we pull through will we be really stronger or breakdown again. This will be another chapter in life.



I am numb and restless...I really thought I can count on him from the last time but over and over again I am dissapointed and over and over again I give him the chance to hurt me.



Am I giving him the chance now or am I giving a chance to myself.



I love him but I need to learn to love myself as well. There is a gap and how certain I am that the gap will close....



I hope time will point out to me what to do is the right thing....

I really don’t know where I should confess my feelings.

Although I am just writing but at least it helps to release my emotional pain. Why am I such a loser? Over time by time being tormented and torn apart by the same person who hurt me again and again. When is this going to be the last time?

I am tired; I know it will be a painful process to walk away but in the current situation is too torturing. Looking at the person face to face and tell you that you are perfect but somehow I am the guy who always hurt you….and he is sorry.

Since I am perfect why I have to go through this pain. I wish I could just banish in the thin blue air.

I thought I once have you back by my side with the love that I could hold on and count one. But today, it all happens again. How do I convince myself to trust and love you again?

Pls tell me how…am I really that good that I am being taken for granted?
I can tell people not to take a person for granted but how am I in the situation to be taken for granted.

I know I will cry my eyeball out. I can’t stop and I don’t know when my eyes will be dry.

I really thought my life is so perfect comparing with so many people. With a click of hand, everything change…change to dust. It takes us a decade to understand each other but still have yet to understand.

I am home where I belong where only love is enough for me.

Whatever happen is back to square one. Why I choose this road, I guess is the risk that I have taken and this is the end result. A partnership instead of a forever and ever relationship. Nothing is forever.

I am sad and dissapointed. I though what we have been through will pull us through whatever. I was wrong. We were never walk out of the maze. I will only stand in his heart as the closes friend that I can only count on him as a best of pal and not the lover that he would die for. Why it takes us so long to know that. After all that we have been through, we are good enough as friend. I feel I would walk awayand just the door close behind me.

I am ready to let go if it takes to get hurt now and not another decade to realise that we are not meant for each other. That would involve another innocent party. Lift it up now and make it happen. I guess I just need to be optimistic for my life and be the best for future.

Should I end it now and would I regret the life that I choose again. Being hurt now is better than getting more people to get hurt I guess. This be the day that finally I was fearful for and hiding from.

Nothing can hide from the realilty.....I love you and thanks for everything.

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee

(Chorus) Well I never saw it coming I should have started running A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say, And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee

(Chorus) Well I never saw it coming I should have started running A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

I never saw it coming I should have started running A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you I’m better off without you
And I never saw it coming I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'
And I got over you!!! And I got over you!!! And I got over you!!!
The day I thought I’d never get through I got over you…